Love, Christina (a letter from my sister) — excerpt 1|3:

“I am struggling. If, at some point, this becomes rambling, forgive me. My thoughts are scattered as of late. You are the only person I share my thoughts with, and I know you will accept however this turns out. Last weekend, perusing through albums and paperwork I found of hers, I was again in a tug of war with our mother. I don't write out her name because that gives her form, and I don't want to see her face and remember she was real. I vividly recall how we jokingly referred to her only by her first name… not acknowledging at the time we weren't ready because she never truly mothered us. She is my strongest opponent besides my addictions. I’ve always teetered at crossing the line and letting her win. She initiated this battle; it haunts me.”