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About the Camera

Artist Blog by Anna Kadykova

Back then I had a Leica R4, I loved that camera. Oh, it was a match - when you hold something in your hands and it lives together with you, it becomes a part of you. And you enjoy walking together. It didn’t happen with just any camera.

Thanks to my friend and photographer Yakov Titov, who taught me a lot and let me test and hold different cameras in my hands, I realized that there are just cameras for taking pictures, and there are cameras with which you unite, connect and live.

One day this favorite of mine Leica R4 mysteriously broke, - the pin that rolls the film inside the camera bent and stopped to roll the film, nobody could explain how that could happen. The breakage should have been mechanical, but I didn't drop the camera or bump it. And there were absolutely no marks on the outside, only the pin inside the camera was bent. That was so strange!

I had few exposed film rolls in my hands, - the films that were filmed, but were unfilmed. These camera-captured-uncaptured moments remain only in my memory. Some I still remember: click! - an Israeli soldier with a machine gun on his lap playing the Grand piano in a railway passage, click - my naked friend at dawn on the shore of the Dead Sea.

The loss of the camera coincided with a loss of desire to shoot. Before the camera broke, I felt like I didn't want to shoot and didn't want to lug around heavy camera bags, but for a couple more months I forced myself to keep doing it.

After I figured out the camera was broken, I decided to go along with my own unwillingness and stopped filming for some time. And waited for desire to come back. And I waited…

And it did come back. Now I was walking around with a completely different kind of camera in my hands and shooting everyday life on my iPhone. And it also felt like something I could live together with. It was a match. Recently I have a new everyday favorite among cameras, it's the Fuji x100v, it's convenient to carry around. The model and awesomeness of a camera is not that important, I thought. Desire and match is what matters.