The Burden of Responsibility, and the Power of the Ocean

I continue to talk about my ongoing project It’s Darkest Before the Dawn. After being denounced for my public anti-war stance in August 2022, I began experiencing nightmares. In these dreams, masked SWAT teams with machine guns burst into our flat and dragged me away in handcuffs amidst the screams of my children. The fear for their safety has haunted me ever since. Determined to secure a better future for them - one where their mother isn't imprisoned - I decided to leave Russia.

This is why a significant part of my project comprises photographs of my children. I create metaphorical images where apparent beauty conceals unsettling elements. The naked form of a child symbolizes innocence and fragility, defenceless against the nightmares of today's world. In many shots, the children are hidden or blend seamlessly into the surrounding landscape. But can we truly protect them, especially when we ourselves failed to notice how this horror crept in from all sides?

For too long, many of us lived in Russia, oblivious to the gradual rise of fascism. We existed within our bubble, where everything seemed bearable. It felt as if we were travelling along a road, confident it would continue indefinitely. Then suddenly, we discovered that the path had ended; there was a dead end ahead, and we could advance no further. The most unsettling realization is that this obstacle didn’t appear overnight - it had been growing like a tumour for years, and yet we either didn’t see it or chose to ignore it. Perhaps the most challenging question is: could I have done something to prevent this situation?

Since my forced emigration, I’ve been living in Portugal. The ocean profoundly influences my thoughts and consciousness, serving as a source of energy and power. It represents something greater than myself - magnificent and beyond my control - eliciting both fear and deep admiration. The ebb and flow of the tides, the roll of the waves, the storms, and the calm occur independently of me. There are elements of life I cannot influence. While I may feel powerless in the face of many global issues, does that mean I am truly helpless?

Change surrounds us at every moment, often imperceptible at first glance, yet it occurs regardless of our awareness. Observing the world’s constant fluctuations helps me accept what I cannot change.

Katya Bogachevskaya is part of Issue 17 by Guest Editor Torbjørn Rødland.