The Great Pretender

“The Great Pretender” is a personal exploration of masculinity and the ways traditional gender roles persist and evolve. While societal expectations are slowly shifting, and men are increasingly encouraged to express vulnerability and emotion, many conventional norms remain deeply ingrained.

Growing up in the Netherlands, gender roles felt more fluid, but after moving to New York City I noticed a disconnect. Even in a progressive and diverse city, many men described feeling caught between conflicting ideals, unsure how to balance emotional openness with ingrained expectations on ''how to be a man''.

Through a combination of portraits and metaphorical imagery, I look at what has changed and what still feels stuck in how society sees masculinity. The project isn’t just about individual stories, it’s about the systems that shape how men feel and show emotion. These systems have historically favored men, yet they still limit and even harm anyone who doesn’t fit society’s narrow expectations of manhood.

The project intentionally turns away from the loud, simplified versions of masculinity that dominate social media. The men in these images aren’t performing roles, giving answers, or presenting a new “ideal” of masculinity. I’m especially interested in the space between what men feel inside and what they feel they’re expected to show, a space full of tension, uncertainty, and contradiction. By exploring this, The Great Pretender reflects on how masculine identity is shaped, challenged, and constrained, creating room for reflection and new perspectives.

Lidewj Mulder is part of »Guest Room: Ghislain Pascal & Sebastian Perinotti«.