RearView

This is a story about learning to swim in the water Narcissus drowned in. At the core of photography lies a mirror - a borrowed fragment of life printed on a piece of paper. However the image it carries is not as simple. It is the ultimate narcissist that wishes only to be observed, so compelling that it convinces us into believing it represents reality due to its indexical value. But it is an object and as such it can be weaponised or utilised depending on how we chose to use it. In this regard images can serve as objects of admiration or contemplation. Pictures can guide us, the only choice we have is the route.

Thirteen years ago I set out to create a self portrait and asked myself how I can show you who I am without revealing what I look like. I wanted to see if the photographs I make can be used as a mirror into my mind instead of a window into the world. I stick whatever film I have into a camera and shoot out of mere impulse of attraction, waiting for the world to seduce me in moments of intimacy between us. It feels as if the scenes before me force me into framing them and pressing the shutter. After I finish a roll I leave it undeveloped for months on end in order to detach myself from the ‘why’ and view them at face value. The photographs that emerge out of the rubble seem to draw an accurate depiction of who I am at the time. When the aesthetic begins to shift I close the chapter and follow its lead. As the project progressed a dialogue developed through poetry and eventually stories. This conversation allows me to read myself in retrospect and compare it to my present self. Albert Camus suggested that “there can be no true goodness nor true love without the utmost clear-sightedness”, of course what he is proposing is an ideal of virtue but we can try to approach it by becoming our own iconoclasts. The result of this experiment is visual literacy in the language of mythology. In a society based on performance honesty is a duty we owe to ourselves.

“RearView” is a life long project currently comprising three chapters. The first two titled “MRAK” and “ShadowBox” are closed while the third “Tramontana - Postcards from Home” is entering the stage of completion. Now I am only left with curiosity for what the next chapter has to say.

Vedran Tomšić took part in No Pressure Portfolio Review at Sarajevo Photography Festival with our Managing Editor Ilaria Sponda.